Paintings have their own characters

Hi all
Well after stressing and straining of working on the three panel painting of the jungle and finally finished the darned thing. So with the need to challenge myself more, I decided to paint what I thought would be almost impossible for me to do. What was I thinking, but the painting was calling me and I have a number in my head that I want in terms of paintings to be completed (obsessing and sweating here, nights of not sleeping without my goal being met, .... really!) I decided to paint a green sea turtle in the water so mostly you see the head and the water. I thought no way will I be able to do this. I thought there is no way I can paint water, not like this. I won't be able to do it. This is how I approach most painting though. I have no confidence and think I can't do it but with stubborness, and fear of never even trying I continue onward....uphill. For those of you who know me, I am sure you believe that I have nothing but confidence, but in truth I don't. I have this energy that gives people this impression. I also can be quite outspoken and firm in my beliefs so that also gives this impresson. Anyway, I digress once again,....... I thought first thing to do when I have this white canvas glaring at me and a near impossible painting to do, put paint on the darn thing and cover as much as possible. Get out my frustrations and get rid of the oppressive white!!!! White for me is hard to take, it is a void of emptiness of unanswered potential, the possiblity of inability. So to block in paint means there is now space to make mistakes, change and grow.
Now realize, I do follow certain patterns prior. I do pencil in the drawing, then protect the drawing with a layer of moldmaking latex to mask the area much like people do with watercolors and then I covered the area as much as possible. This moldmaking latex is a must try for acrylic painting artist and watercolorists alike. It is waaaayyyyy cheaper that watercolor friskit, however if it is on the canvas for longer than a week or so, it can yellow the underneath and for some of you this might not be a good option for me I just paint over the saved area anyway so no worries for me. I also take a stiff brush once I have removed the frisked area to firmly brush away the acrylic film that is not meant to be part of the painting to keep the drawing fresh. Acrylic film is kind of weird stuff it is stretchy and rubbery color, but it can't stick to the rubber. So I use the stiff brush to cut off this rubbery edge. It takes a bit of practice but it works, I use a stippling brush that people use for stencil work. I run the brush parallel to the edge of the drawing so I don't scuff up the background painting.
I have a tremendous amount of Azul Ftalociannia (in English Phthalo Blue doesn't is sound nicer in Spanish?). I don't know why I have this color in majority or its kissing cousin in green but I do. I don't often find alot of need for this color but it is very pretty, and often quite seemingly unnatural in many paintings. Maybe for me, it is like buying cookies in the grocery store, you don't really need them but it is a nice treat. I am going to have to paint a few blue paintings and green paintings to utilize this stuff. So if in the future you see alot of this in my paintings, you know why. I just hope that people are buying furnature to match the color because my paintings will match well. Sorry, that is an old joke amoungst artists. This is often the excuse a painter will hear the buyer say so as not to buy the painting.....The buyer would buy the painting if it matched their couch. The artists perspective is this good art doesn't always match your couch, but matches you. Sorry I digress again and this time really badly. Sorry!!! But the Pthtalo blue paint really worked on this painting here as a base, shockingly, it worked great. First step complete.
I was scared, yes scared thinking this would be another long and enduring painting and one that was way beyond my capabilities. For me, long and enduring is over a week. For the average bear, it would be a considerable time longer. Being OCD (Obessive Compulsive Disorder, hey it works for me, I can get ALOT done) this means that there is maximum focus possible by one human being condensed from hours to minutes. Here is the funny this I also have Attention Deficit Disorder along with other disabilities like dyslexia both auditory and visual. When needed the OCD counteracts the ADD and I am off like a rocket.... Fun Hey. Soooooo, the painting was started this morning really, pthalo blue literally slapped on as a base coat last night, so that today in good light not night light. I could paint in peace in color as I had slept off the nightmare of white glare. With my OCD armed at the ready, and my Add suppressed with my coffee, I tackled the painting, now 7 hours later it is done and signed. I am shocked and happy. FYI, ADD people use coffee to help them focus and focus to calm their energy, it is a phenomenon, another cool perk. Normal people use coffee to give them more energy but it can scatter their energy and give them the shakes.
I love this painting to the point that it is hanging in my studio rather than in the house. In the studio, I have hung paintings that for the most part inspire me to carry on. That does not mean that the ones in the house aren't that way too. I am a person to likes things in order, this means all the monkeys are hanging together and the blue sea paintings are together, except for the new painting, it will hang there when I can't stand the disorder anymore.
OK, for those of you who don't know me very well, I have a tidy painting room. I don't like a mess. I don't like clutter or confusion in my painting room, other places not so much..... well really only where my clothes are.... They are not really a priority for me. When I work, I work hard and intensely and NEED all my supplies at the ready!!!!! I also like things, I am embarrassed to say..... color coded. All my paints are on their own shelf according to general color. There is the green shelf and the red shelf and so on. On you tube, I saw this one womans work art space, there was no where to work with the mess and unneccesary garbage. I would have loved to gone in there with a shovel and had at her. I almost fainted, really. In fact I was so distracted by the mess, I had to shut it off, after swearing and having a good rant. OMG, I don't know how those type of people get anything done. Thank god, other artist have their world and I have mine, because the two should never meet. I would be chomping at the bit to throw stuff out and organize and panicing trying to find the color I NEED to PAINT with NOW and they would be trying to collect more. Now I do collect paint, and art books and pictures and supplies that I need and use. So I guess I do collect also.... Hmmmm but everything had/has their own special space!!!! When we left Canada, I gave away lots of art supplies, but for the most part I had used them at one time or another and they were all neatly put in their proper place. I was also given alot of supplies and didn't have the heart to throw away gifts. I just hope that whoever has them is using them well and respecting them too. Saving art supplies is wasting potential to create more art. I am glad that I have lightened my load of having the distraction of other art supplies, but I do miss working in other mediums. I especially miss my sculpting and sculpting tools. I loved those tools. I had this wonderful tidy little set of drawers...... sigh.... Oh well, on to the next painting......I think I will work on a spectacled bear. I had this arguement with a local biologist about what was more beautiful the Canadian Grizzly or the Speckacled Bear of South America we agreed to disagree. I happen to think the Grizzly is breathtaking..... Thank god Canada sees fit to protect them. I hope Kharma also bites those people in the but who hurt them (the bears) and use their parts and bits and peices. I just don't understand that kind of thinking.
Sorry about the disjointed thinking today. I know that this is one of those days that maybe I should have not written as after the OCD kicked out the ADD kicked in, and this is the result..... I don't know how my family and friends can stand it but I thank them for loving me through my eccentricities.
In life paint your canvas from white with lots color, don't be afraid to tackle life, you will be surprised at your successes.
Be good to each other,
Robin